i'm really hoping it's true what they say about being third time lucky. This is a road i've almost gone down twice before and now i feel like there's this beautiful tranquil place just beyond the hill but well within reach.. if i were to dwell on the illusory analogy. i would never be able to say a sentence like that with a straight face or without a return smirk..and i don't at all mean to sound hurt by that:).. just that i've unwittingly managed to create a space with that sort of energy around me.. and so.. i'm already beginning to get a real sense of the freedom this affords.
It just struck me today as amusing...( and most things seem to have an uncanny ability to fit right into that box of mine :).. wonder if i've somehow widened the definition and scope of the word 'amusement' to simplify / add complexity to life.. as the case may be.. or am i just inordinately perceptive to know the difference? lol )..how horribly skewed the balance of the truth and everything else that is complimentary to it is. And the problem seems to get more acute as you get older. For the sake of a silver lining, the awareness of truth within us possibly grows, but everything in the space between is a set of glorified versions, denials, calculations, customised offerings or outright lies.. most of the time anyway. And the irony is that everyone recognises the depravity to a certain degree and yet we choose to do the dance again :). And when for the briefest time that space is sacred and someone else helps make being honest with yourself easier.. it's precious. They've been few and far in between but they're liberating as hell:)

PS: I had a dream last night where a wonderful uncle treated us to the 'Cirque De Soleil'... i cannot even begin to describe how vivid it was... up until that moment i had never really seen any visuals or read any descriptions of the show... the mind's a wonderfully unintelligible place :)